I'm having a hard time remembering that she doesn't want today to be sad. She wants today to be celebrated, like every other day.
I need to say thank you to all of you for making my life a little (or a LOT) brighter every day. Please know that there is a tremendous amount of love flowing from me to you, always :)
(I'm not as eloquant as Sam, but I think I said what I've needed to say for now)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
All you need is love
Posted by
Lauren
at
1:51 PM
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The first iris bloomed in our yard yesterday. It was a smile from dp.
I wrote this in my journal. I didn't think I wanted to put it here, but i saw it there tonight when i went to write...and now i guess i do. I have forgotten how to post. Technopoop me.
Any way i think i do want it here now. It's kind of sad though. I'm not so sad most of the time these days.
Diana
3/19/09
You’re in my mind so much still. You are still so in my life. Do-dads here and there. Music. Your gardens. Our clothes.
Other people’s loved ones pass. I hurt for them. And me. And you.
Oh my friend—I hope you’re well. I hope the fear is gone. I hope love and joy abound. Or if some are right and nothing comes next, then for sure at least nothing is better than what you had last year this time. I don’t think nothing comes next though. And I want to feel that you’re ok. That you are at home in a good place.
Sometimes I’m afraid you’re still angry, like sometimes I wonder if Dad’s still ashamed of me. Sometimes I see you happy and dancing, and I think you know I always did my best for you. Always wanted to bring you comfort and joy. And that intentions do matter. And that the road to hell’s not just paved with them.
I miss you. I still weep mournfully at times with the pain of losing you so hard and long and with so few words between us.
I still weep for the dances we didn’t share and the old woman I’ll be without you.
Are you ok?
Wow. Yes! S.
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